Friday, 9 November 2012

Six hundred and sixteen legs

Hello. I didn’t write a blog post last week. Smack me with a tofurkey and call me Matilda.

(If you’re bored with this already, scroll down to the bottom. There’s a freebie.)

I’ve just been having a think about what to write about while I was in the shower. I was running through what I’ve done this week. At about the hair conditioner stage I realised I don’t interact with people much. This is what happens when you work from home. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’ve met people.

I did interact with a lot of spiders this week though. There was a scout party of three sent to my office. I was happy to co-exist. They were on the ceiling and I don’t go there often.

A couple of days after they first arrived, I looked up to see how Itsy, Bitsy and Charlotte were doing. I noticed there were bits of dirt in the corner of the ceiling. Then I realised that the bits of dirt were moving. I got up to give my short-sighted eyes more of a chance. I saw it wasn’t just one corner of the ceiling. The swarm was concentrated there, but they were spreading. A dozen had already taken the corner by the light switch. A troop of eight was marching across the expanse of white matt to the bookshelf corner. It was a full-on invasion. I lost count at 77 arachnids when the doorbell rang (it was the twazzy postman – the one who has to snort snot back up his nose before he talks).

In the end they had to be dealt with (sadly only the spiders, not the postman). I didn’t do it myself. I’m choosing to believe that every one of them is now living on a farm in the country.

I released Enjoy Your Stay, a short story, on Smashwords this week. If you use code WT99X at the checkout, it’ll be free (valid until 9 December 2012).