Friday, 14 September 2012

“When I grow up, I’m going to be an estate agents' bugbear.”

The above title is a line (as accurately as I remember it) from a book I read as a kid. I can’t remember which one. Probably something involving ponies (I couldn’t have one, so I read about people who did instead).

It stuck in my mind because I thought, yes, I’m going to grow up to be that sort of person too. I’d like to spend hours of my life nosing at houses that I have no intention of buying. It was a prediction worthy of Mystic Meg.

I wouldn’t go and bother actual estate agents, of course. That would involve leaving the house, talking to people, and being polite about curtains. The writer of the quote above can’t even have imagined how much more fun and accessible bugbearing could get, thanks to the internet.

I can easily lose half a day browsing houses. Mostly it’s aspirational, winning the lottery-type browsing. Once I find one I like, I get absorbed by the floor plan. Aren’t floor plans wonderful? I can spend half an hour imagining what each room would be used for, how my life would be lived in that house.

The lower end of the market (that’s the one in my price bracket) can be a bit disappointing. Occasionally I come across a photo of a vast, loft-type room and think, wow. Then I’ll see another photo of the property, of a room that contains some furniture, or white goods. Suddenly, I notice that there’s a microwave so wide it could cook an entire cow. Or there’s a bath so vast that one end is in a different time zone to the other.

Please stop stretching photos to make properties look bigger, estate agents. It spoils my bugbearing.

(And if anyone can tell me where the hell that quote comes from, I’d love to know.)


If you fancy reading a bit of fiction, I’ve added a new page to the blog – Books – where I’ll be listing my current books.

No comments:

Post a Comment