Ts and Cs

You know the high-pitched fast-voiced ‘Ts and Cs apply’ at the end of every other radio ad? I’ve been wondering what the ‘T’ and the ‘C’ could stand for. If no one can be bothered to use the proper words, let’s make it interesting.

Tequila and chundering? Tall and chubby? Tampons and Charles (or Camilla)?

I’m for having the ‘T’ represent cups of tea. The ‘C’ represents, well, the sea. The cups will float on their saucer boats on the sea, rising and falling on the crests of rolling waves, slopping mid-brown brew over the side (this explains the colour of the sea at Blackpool). The sugar lumps on the side will lose their purchase and fall into the salty brine. It was probably a sugar lump that sank the titanic.

That’s what I’ll picture now when I hear ‘Ts and Cs’. A granulated cube of the sweet stuff causing a deadly maritime disaster, resulting in that episode of Dr Who with Kylie in it.